Assumptions About the Nature of Children
Last Thursday I attended my first class on Positive Psychology Coaching led by Alex Linley. It was a great first class. One of the points he spoke of was the assumptions of human nature that impacts the way we coach our clients. It led me to think about the assumptions we have about the nature of children. For example are children born "rotten to the core," or are they born all good, maybe a combination of both good and bad, or even the possibility of the tabula rasa, the blank tablet through which parents write a life script. Our religious education and psychological legacy has impacted our society to view children more as being "all bad." Therefore, the parenting goal is to remove all this bad and replace it with good or at least train children to manage the bad. I have many thoughts about my own and others assumptions and the parenting styles that are generated from what we believe. I thought I would throw out some general thoughts and see what others think.
Stay Strong. Stay positive.
Golden Jenkins
LifeCare Coaching
Auburn, AL
334.444.3500
Caring For Your Life is Our Ministry
posted by Golden @ 12:57 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Golden, I connect to your comments about the Positive Psychology class with Alex Linley. I enjoyed the class when it was offered earlier this year and have used the concepts discussed nearly everyday. I know helping parents to state what kind of parent they want to be is so basic it can get forgotten! Using Positive Psychology concepts in working on a family mission statement is a gift for all families. Thanks for writing about the class. I hope it is going well and would like to hear more!
Chuck,
Good question! I tend to lead up to the question about 'what kind of parent do you want to be?' with talking about what memories people have of thier own parents. This lets me know how positive or negative that experience was and what baggage might need to be 'unpacked'. After I understand the point at which one remembers parenting as a child, I can ask "What kind of memories do you want to make with your kids?...What kind of parent do you want to be?" I just follow the lead that the parent takes and help them break the memory making into action steps! I have had AMAZING conversations around this topic!
Golden, I agree with you about the value of using positive psychology in the family. I'm in this class too and I find so many of the ideas from research and practice to be immediately applicable to our daily lives.
I'm also reading Daniel Goleman's new book, Social Intelligence, which cites recent reseach showing the very direct influence humans have on each other in close quarters. The atmosphere in a family has a physical effect on everyone's brain, so everyone (especially the parents) has a responsibility to make that atmosphere nurturing and safe.
Now, when people say, "You make me feel bad," I realize there is a literal truth in what is happening.
It's not always accurate to say, "I can't make you feel bad; only you can do that." Our moods do affect others. This awareness can really change our parenting for the better, don't you think?
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