Eight Tips for Nurturing Multiracial Children

A very nice person found her way to my website the other day and took the time to comment on my Biracial Kids page. Part of what she said was: “…kids are flexible” (and) “adults worry too much…” about being multiracial. I agree, kids are flexible and can be resilient. As parents/grandparents/or caregivers, we do worry, (But, I don’t think too much) about our kids as they negotiate this increasingly diverse world where racism is alive and thriving everywhere, sometime subtle and at other times blatant.

Research indicates that multiracial children and youth do have very unique needs and developmental challenges than do their monoracial peers. They must integrate dual racial and/or cultural identifications and then develop a positive racial identity, a positive self-concept, and a sense of competence, while accomplishing other developmental tasks (e.g., peer relationships, sexual identity, choosing a career, leaving home, etc.). They must develop verbal, intellectual and physical abilities to negotiate the racism that surrounds all of us, which impacts our lives everyday. So with this in mind, here is some expert advice for nurturing your multiracial children:

1. Talk about race routinely. This indicates you are open to answering questions and discussing concerns about race, and anything else your child may be experiencing. Identify instances of racism on the TV and in real life so she will recognize it when confronted with it.

2. Get to know the different ways that multiracial people may understand themselves racially. Discuss your child’s identity with her early, and later, when she may choose other identities.

3. Teach the history for all your child’s inherited cultures. If you haven’t yet, start a family tree and let her help. Teach about her European ethnicity along with her other heritages (African American, Native American, Latino, Chinese, etc) as appropriate.

4. Examine your inner prejudices and be aware of how you may make use of stereotypes. Do you have a mix of friends?

5. Establish a positive relationship with your child’s teacher early in the
school year. Spend time in the classroom, whenever, possible. It will be easier to discuss any difficult situation that may be racial, if it should arise.

6. Monitor, and if necessary, intervene in your child’s relationships with
friends and peers. Be aware of sudden changes in her moods and
behaviors that may indicate some underlying distress. Find out what might
explain the changes (It may or may not be racial).

7. Practice different types of verbal responses that she can use to affirm her identity when she is misidentified or when her racial identity is directly challenged. Multiracial people, regardless of their heritages, are not all alike - they don’t all look alike, they don’t understand themselves racially in the same way, and they may not even choose the same racial identity as siblings they live with.

8. Encourage participation in an activity that is fun and enjoyable and, which allows for developing a talent or skill building. Engaging in activities that she feels good at builds self-esteem and can counteract negative messages from others. Some suggested activities are: art, music, dance, mathematics, chess, Lego building, rock collecting, acting, sports,
or a combination of activities.

Following these eight tips you can be certain that you are doing your best to insure your child’s comfort with her multiracial heritage.

Next time, I will talk about developing a multiracial identity.

In the mean time, check out the following resources for more information:

Does Anybody Else Look Like Me? A Parent's Guide to Raising Multiracial Children by Donna Jackson Nakazawa

Raising Biracial Children by Kerry Ann Rockquemore and Tracey A. Laszloffy


“If Nothing Ever Changed, There Would Be No Butterflies.”
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janice@janicevanburenphd.com
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